Role Call: Having Stagefright in My Own Play

I'm so sure about my role as a spiritual messenger/guide and as a confidante to other beings of light. I know truly, without a doubt in my mind, that this is what I want to do with my time in this realm. What I struggle with every day, though, is fear. Fear of actually doing it and fear of having to do anything else except my calling to support myself and my family. I don't believe I'm alone in this conundrum.

I've spend a lot of time trying to define out loud what it is I'm afraid of so that I can face it head on. That approach is so often easier said than done and I think that too many of us expect ourselves to leap over it in a single bound; forgetting that it is a process. Processes take time and steps and sometimes move backwards before they can progress forward. That doesn't mean we aren't successful every time we take a baby step closer to who we truly are. Really this concept is applicable to more than a career choice- it's about becoming us everywhere.

I used to think that keeping home and job seperate was the best way to have it. I was never a career gal. To me, career meant choosing your job over life and family. Labeling a job as a career meant that your responsibilities within that role were elevated in priority to a level that made it just as important as, if not more so, than what I considered to be Real Life. I could understand that choice if one was driven to be a doctor, lawyer, or a teacher; some noble calling essential to the collective good of the world.
-- Hey now, before groaning about the nobility and necessity of lawyers, please think about the role of lawyer as defenders of the defenseless and champions of the cause. Idealists have existed out there somewhere.--
Anyway, I thought those people took normal life when they could get it and I admired their devotion but didn't feel I could relate to them at all. Fact is, we gotta have money for basic needs these days and therefore we average humans work to get money. I only wanted work I could leave at the building I did it in and really live doing what I loved with my family. Part of me envied people that were career-minded, doing work they loved so much they couldn't just leave it at the "office", but I think now that it had more to do with their knowing their true calling.

As it turns out-- A calling doesn't have much to do with who pays you, or titles, or whether you go to another place for so many hours a day. A calling has more to do with your role, your purpose, your place in this lifetime, this world,  and this era. We all have a part to play in our little dioramas or we wouldn't be here now; billions of little ripples in the ocean of existance. We're each here to experience and help others experience their truth. There is no loftier or more important career in this existance than being our true selves; whether that's as a gutter installer, a fast food cashier, a homemaker, or a spiritual advisor. As long as we do it and all else in a spirit of joy and purpose.

In my heart, I know I'm here to walk with others. I've experienced so much in my life so that I can better relate to so many of you. In the meantime, I'm scared of putting myself out there too. I'm afraid no one will want me to walk with them. I'm afraid I'll have to busy my days with work that is seperate from my heart and it will stunt my potential. Just like everyone else, I'm afraid. However, because I'm fully aware of this, I have to overcome it... One step at a time. One blog post at a time. One reading at a time... to get accustomed to living my truth so that I can help you all with yours. We do it together, see?