Why worry now? part 1

   

"Things are looking up..."

  To hear me talk today, it may sound like I'm head over heels in love with life. I think that just might be true. This has not always been the case. I am in no way finished learning all of my lessons but, like so many others, I've been at the bottom; undone and unmade. I've been forced to decide between giving up and starting over more times than I can count. To my credit, each subsequent descent was over a shiny new lesson instead of reruns.

     I've been hearing a lot of similar stories around me lately. Truly, the world has been a conflicted and chaotic place to me even since I began watching with new eyes. The old me found it paralyzing. There are many of us struggling to cope with loss; be it loss of a job, home, relationship... a loved one. These are the moments that rock us to the core of who we are and whether or not we feel that we matter in this life. When a client or a friend asks me, "I want to be different but I don't know how. Where do I start?" in a way this question always feels as deeply significant as if they're asking me for the meaning of life. If I ponder that idea for a moment, I guess my answer might be the same: Live with a capital 'L'. The old Robin would either break down in tears or want to slap me silly. The new Robin kind of wishes it were a bit more witty and clever. 

     First of all, kudos to the people who actually realize that it's themselves that need to change. You can't really get anywhere prior to that understanding. How we go about the pursuit of Living will be different for each of us but I do believe there are some good places to start that aren't dependent on money or social support networks. Typically when we get to this point we're lacking at least one of these resources. Overall, these points to consider have made the all the difference for me. What would be the point of a life of  'less than Living'? There is the state of 'just not being dead' but most of us can't honestly say that's enough because we've already been there and cried about it.

     Personally, I confess to having experienced more than one of these bottoming-outs throughout my life. If you have as well, ask yourself: When will you decide that this time will be the last?

     If you sincerely want change, you must be willing to face your demons honestly. In fact, that's a good indication of how truly ready you are at all. If you aren't willing to affirm whole-heartedly that who you become from here on out is squarely on your shoulders, it will only be a matter of time before the cycle comes around again. Everything moves in cycles. We need a process shift. We need to make sure the cycle is in a higher range the next time it comes around. 

Here are two more questions to ask yourself:

1. Are you gonna stay a victim or take control of your destiny?

     That may sound like an obvious choice but choosing to acknowledge your own power and take control is one of the hardest things you'll ever do. Continuing blame is way easier. It is also the moment you'll see later as the true beginning of your awakening. It will be one of your proudest accomplishments. Traumatic and harmful things happen to all of us. Many of those are genuinely not our fault. An abusive childhood, an assault, a loss.. we don't cause those experiences directly. (Whether we choose the events that happen in our lives before we incarn is another topic for another day. ) However, some choose to let those past events continue to do damage to them over and over again. I did too for a long time. We can let them teach us instead and move out of the dead-end of victimhood and into survivor status.
     A victim only sees all the reasons they can't succeed. They focus on the what they've lost, who or what has taken something from them. Victims can bemoan their situation for eternity; always waiting for the Universe to throw another log on the fire thus intensifying the pain. The Universe makes sure they're never disappointed because not-so-great stuff will always happen. That's like standing in the boxing ring and never learning to dodge, much less throw a punch! For a truly intense consideration of victimhood that pulls no punches, check out this blog by Maya Devi Georg and Chris Courtney.
 
2. Are you really willing to fight or are you just too scared to quit? There is a difference.

     Being a fighter means you have to get in and engage in the bout. Participate in creating an outcome. You have to start acting instead of reacting and it is not an easy fight. If it is, you're doing it wrong. They say the best defense is a good offense. I believe part of that's because if your opponent has to divert some or all it's energy to defending against your attacks, that's less energy it has to attack you. Another part is that it requires a change of perspective. This is true in metaphysical terms as well. You can call it Karma, Law of Attraction, or the Laws of Prosperity and Abundance. When you actively put your positive energy out into the world you will get some back. It has a cumulative effect so if you don't see it right away, keep at it. It can't hurt. Negativity works the same way, and it does hurt.

What's it gonna be today?