Autumnal Blessings

     It felt like the leaves were never going to surrender their green and give over to their final brilliant hues. I kept thinking that perhaps, after a dry spell at the end of Summer, that just one more soaking rain might do it. Just as a watched pot that never boils, it was when my attention was focused elsewhere that an explosion of color occurred. I couldn't wait to get out into the Ozark wilderness to observe them all. So, this past weekend my mate and I took to the trails at the Wilson's Creek National Battlefield. It is one of our favorite places to hike. The scenery is lovely there in every season. I have never failed to come home with an assortment of sky-given treasures of feather or small animal bone. I like all my beautiful things with at least a dash of melancholy about them and in this place there is the sobering weight of history that adds depth to the breath-taking beauty of the landscape. The park serves as a fitting memorial to the brave soldiers and citizens that lived, fought, and died through this terrible time in our country's story.




At this time in the Wheel of the Year, we honor our ancestors. We can honor them best by doing the best we can to learn from their triumphs and their mistakes to make this an even better world than how we found it. We also celebrate the harvest of all our hard work before facing the cold, dark Winter. The foliage sure knows how to make an exit and I wanted to share the spectacular views of my homeland with all of you. 


Lets remember those who have come before us, those we have lost from this Earthly plane this year, and to share our bounty and gratitude with each other. 
 

 

Creekside Consultation

     The month of June is already often a difficult time for me, and this one has been a challenge, indeed. It's brought sudden loss and funerals as well as memories of sudden loss, grief, and funerals in the past. The heat of high Summer is settling in and the difficult news from around the world feels as oppressive and stifling as the climbing heat index. I've been feeling fatigued and stagnant. Hopefulness hasn't been as easy to reach as I've become accustomed to.

     I found myself encountering emotions I'm not proud of. I've felt self-pity, envy, self-doubt, and laziness. I've felt a disatisfaction with myself and my life that gave me a wake-up call when I faced it. Do I really have any reason to feel this way? I have a new way of doing things over the last couple of years. When I need help I go to the source. I went to my sacred space by a creek, gave many thanks, and listened.

     The birdsong reminded me to take a higher view and speak truly to myself and others. There has been sadness in this month but there has also been growth and purpose. I was able to be present in support of my family in a tough experience. I was also able to be an instrument of Spirit by delivering a message of love and comfort from one who has passed to a loved one in her grief and she didn't run away screaming or call me a freak. I did my job and acted on an opportunity to extend love. I feel really good about that.

     In a little pool off to my side there was a snapping turtle just hanging out and I thought about flexibility in my thinking. Maybe I haven't had as many appointments this month but opportunities don't always come in the ways that we expect. When we only measure success in one way, we're more often disappointed than not. Part of learning to live a free life is to take the chains off of our expectations too. Let the Universe handle the How. I'll just keep swimming, so to speak, and there's something to be said for just floating when your head is easily above water and your feet still touch the Earth. Snappers can't retreat back into their shell when threatened, they bite. I need to be mindful of my words when I feel stressed.

     A young Great Blue Heron flew by. Herons do their own thing. They dance to the beat of a different drum. It's self-reliant and resourceful. Herons have a mastery in 3 of the 4 elements; Earth, Water, and Air. I'm young in this stage of my life too but I'm getting it. I am fairly comfy in thought, emotion, and grounded in reality (my reality, that is)... What's missing is fire. True enough, I am lacking fire; that raw energy and motivation that kicks us into gear. Something to consider...

     Damselflies were copulating all around me in the in-between places where the water met the stone-- in the mosses growing thick on the rocks jutting out of the current. It made me think of creativity-- the conditions and components, the recipe of creation-- and how they're cold-blooded creatures who need the warmth of light and the sun to thrive. They begin their lives immersed in the water and crawl out to transform on the rocks to someday fly. Their irridescent scales reflect color with the light.  Now I know I need this light and warmth of the hot days. Embrace and absorb the energy freely given. I also need to balance my emotions with intellect.

     Lots to process... In the old days I felt so alone and I kept those negative emotions close to me like familiar friends but they left me feeling raw and powerless. Not what true friends do. It makes me feel much better to now have a plan. As I sat on the stone in the middle of the babbling water, I realized that these emotions are meant to just flow by if I stay grounded and let them go. With stone beneath me, afternoon sun touching me through the trees, breeze softly blowing on my face, I let the rushing current take all that negativity away with it. I let it cleanse me of all that I've been wrestling with for at least another day. I didn't feel the least bit lonely with so much advice coming from all directions.
 

Untethered Balloon or Kite?

    

     Here in the Ozarks, it's that time of year when we keep the storm shelter stocked and fresh batteries in the weather radio. Spring has burst; giving birth with explosive force the energy that the quiet Winter built. Sometimes life begins as gentle as the blooming of a flower or buds opening into leaves on a tree. Sometimes there is beautiful and terrible violence that first destroys the existing to make way for the new. Just as in Nature, we find this in our lives as well.

     Change can be gentle. Growth can happen silently beneath our noses. It can also be dark, traumatic, and filled with grief. Amidst the chaos, the rest of the world keeps turning and everyone is going through their own cycles of growth and change--always another story on the news, always another storm on the horizon. The transition seasons are intense and while I love how alive I feel riding the wave into new adventure, sometimes I want to cry out to let me off this crazy ride! Please, just for a moment so I can get my bearings and catch my breath.

     

     I've really been honoring my need for quiet these last couple of weeks. I can't say I'm even contemplating anything or being all that introspective. That's still doing and pushing ahead in a way; the thought of which exhausts me. I'm restless and my body feels in conflict with my spirit. So I go for a run or hike to keep the body busy without using my mind. At least, I could be getting some exercise. The diversion is a positive one but I'm unsatisfied... tired.

     No, what my soul wants is to just sit and stare at the sky, the birds, the trees, taking in, and observing without any expectations. Right now, watching the grass grow actually sounds appealing. My spirit craves the freedom. My Ego-driven, fleshy brain laments that the world goes on regardlessly presuming that my part in the play continues on and I might be missing my cues.

     Ultimately, I know it'll still be there when I get back. All of it. The financial issues, the business plan, the dinner menu, the news headlines... I'm an escapist. It's a wonderful thing to allow yourself time to just be and I recommend it to everyone. Inside I wonder, though, if there's a saturation point. Is there a full tank for me? I know everyone needs recharge but what if I'm a bottomless bowl of feel good? How long could I stay off the ride before becoming bored or the anticipation gets too much and I'm ready to jump on again?

     Maybe someday I can conduct this experiment but for now, there is too high a risk that I'll float away like an untethered balloon. Until then, I guess I'll take my recesses when I can get them, work smarter, and pick up the next wave of motivation when it's time. I'll try to be a kite instead. A kite can't fly without it's string firmly connected to the ground.  

Don't Fence Me In

My mind wants to be with Crow today-- Who am I kidding? Every part of me wants to be with Crow today and everyday--

He calls from outside my work window incessantly. The flocks of Starlings and Sparrows are returning from their winter travels for the new Spring and the Crows stand sentinel over the roadway. They perch high on the telephone poles and caw; warning the flocks of approaching cars as they graze in the field by the side of the road. I feel closed away by the expanse of cement, chain-linked fence, and road that stand between me and the little oasis of nature here on the edge of an urban sprawl. This few acre triangle of land is so close as to see it, and much within it, from the window in my tower. Somewhere under the young Oak, Tedmund the Groundhog lies slumbering and dreaming. From my perch, I see the Crows watch over the flocks, the Kestrels hunt from the tree tops, and lone Turkey Vultures spiral over the scene from time to time. I've heard that Coyote has made an appearance to drink from the water run-off culvert that leads to a small wooded area but I haven't seen him for myself. It makes me sad to see the blatant example of our encroachment to their habitat but I also feel blessed to have them close by, as I grind away at a mundane job, reminding me that I'm a part of their world.

Earthquakes, Tornadoes, and Floods! Oh My!

 As a native of Tornado Alley, I've had more than my share of tornado dreams. If I lived on a coast, I'm sure I'd have hurricane dreams. I'm willing to bet my cousin in California has had an earthquake dream or two. Natural disasters have been a staple in human lives since the beginning of our age. The forces of nature were not to be trifled with. Often referred to as Acts of God, catastrophic natural events cause massive physical change to the landscape , suffering, and destruction on a scale that only a deity could wield. We may have made strides in understanding the elements and through technology harness their power but they are still the Great Equalizer. No matter how high and mighty we get, Mother Nature still comes along and knocks down our Legos to make us start all over again.

In our dreams, what better symbol to reflect chaos, confusion, frustration, and the feeling of helplessness than these events? What a perfect metaphor for the unforeseen challenges of life. Nature reminds us of our place in the big picture. It reminds us we're still just critters scurrying around with the rest of them-- smart critters-- but critters none-the-less. When you remember that a dream is one big metaphor for what's going on in our world, we can really see why our subconscious chooses this imagery to bring issues to our attention. These dreams are often scary stuff and nightmares are actually just ways to get our attention focused a little more quick-like :)

Aside from the disasters that occur naturally in the regions in which we're from, a look closer may reveal that a specific kind of catastrophe may correlate to an area of your life where you're experiencing difficulty. Look at the element of nature being represented. Tornadoes, hurricanes, and cyclones are all good examples of a disturbance in the element of air. Air is the realm of thought, ideas and inspiration, and perspective. When I've wrestled with some primarily intellectual issues in my life, it wasn't uncommon for some tornadoes to show up in my dreams as I'm trying to sort it out; especially when it comes at me suddenly.

Another really common example are floods. Water is the realm of life experiences, creativity, and emotions just for starters. When overwhelmed with big emotions, it's prime conditions for a dream flood, tsunami, or drowning dream.

If the Earth is shaking or cracking in your dream, take a look at your foundation. Not literally. Well, unless you live in an area prone to Mother Earth's shimmies. Then you might be getting a timely message to check your home before financial troubles arise. By foundation, I was initially referring to your core being; the rocks of your life, the cornerstones. How's your will power?

Forest fires or volcanoes making appearances lately? Think about the actions you're taking, or not taking, in your plans... Or have you acted rashly? Positively, are you experiencing an opportunity for rebirth?

There are some natural events which touch on a little more. Think about a thunderstorm. It can have elements of air, water, and fire within it. Consider the size of the storm. If I, a Missouri girl, dream of a hurricane it's likely that my issue is being felt on a larger scale than a tornado but there's more time to prepare for it. A volcano has both fire and earth. I could be making big changes in the foundations of my life. Look at the severity of the destruction and what was affected.

Really looking at the details around the event in your dream will help you to figure out what you can learn and apply in your waking life.  Use the clues to pinpoint areas of stress so you can jump back in and regain control. Remember, too, that these times of difficulty can be opportunities for creative expression, new beginnings, and renewal of your Soul Self. Just as in nature, what destroys also makes room for new life. A volcano makes an island. A forest fire thins the undergrowth that chokes out the trees. It's important to remember that although they can be disturbing, most often these types of dreams are simply messages in code and once you start deciphering them for yourself, an understanding can be developed and your intuition strengthened.